people watcher

my friend rosa first told me about this. she considers herself a "people watcher". i immediately identified as one too. not because i spend hours and hours watching people (which i would definitely do if i had the time or the people to watch), nor because i'm an anthropologist, but because people fascinate me. i'm not a voyer. i'm just constantly amazed on how different people can be - their personalities, their stories, their problems, their goals, and so on and so forth.

of course, being in rio i have to visit my old friends. and these yearly visits, even if brief, are always interesting. one friend is still dealing with divorce, another one is still single and progressively more neurotic, and yet another is dealing with a career change. they may have children or not. and there's also some new babies coming (always). some stories repeat themselves a little bit but are never exactly the same.

but there's more than just their big stories - there are all the little stories of people in that kinda situation, these ordinary events of daily life and mental lines that give color and shape to the big stories in their lifes.

at moments like this i become more aware that my life is also a story, a big story unfolding through the little stories of daily life. and that like my friends i made choices that led me to where i am today, for good or bad.

it's pointless to compare myself with them. i would never have married who this friend chose to marry, never work with what that friend chose to work with (or not work with, and just get married and have babies instead), if i was that other friend i would not be single by now...but i am my own self and that's why i have my own big and little stories.

it feels good to be me when i think that way. it feels just right to be exactly where i am in life (wherever that is).