Friday, July 6, 2007

happiness relativity

i keep reading about "cultural relativity" in anthropology. usually that means that those Others, who are different and exotic, have different beliefs and different worldviews.
i never quite liked this. i guess it's the otherness that is very problematic for me.
but i'm writting all this because now i'm extremely happy about something that is hard to explain to other people. it's like my own private happiness. and boy, am i happy about it!! but what's the fun if i can't share that with others?
i try to describe it - "listen, it's like this - i've been extremely miserable for the past year and a half, trying to finish my qualifying exams but just hitting dead ends over and over again. and now i'm finally crossing this dark tunnel. do you get it? no, you don't understand. it's not that i'm just finishing it. it's more than that, i'm slowly giving birth to something really cool."
i feel like talking about this all the time but it feels kinda silly. people are interested in knowing if i had any major adventures recently, if i'm dating some amazing guy, if i'm going out and being loud and social, if i'm making lots of money (or will make, after i'm done with this agony).
i've been thinking about this a lot recently - why does happiness have to mean only one thing? and why do people run after this ideal frantically without quite realizing why they're doing that?
i know i've been neglecting other parts of my life and i plan to take care of that soon. but i'm also working on building my very own ideal of happiness and finding the right crowd to share that with me. plus, one more adventure in new zealand and australia is happening soon. and i admit i'm pretty excited about that too.
oh, and i can't wait to have friends over again in my house!
happy day for you too.

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